Enjoy the Moments That Make Up Today

Posted by Val on January 7, 2014 No comment

Winnie the Pooh and his minions“What day is it?”
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.
~ A.A. Milne
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to start every day with the thought that it’s today – and that means it’s your favorite day?

No groaning when you get out of bed, dreading work or school. No sense of gloom and doom as you battle to get the kids off to school, or complain about the weather or deal with other life challenges.

Instead, a cheerful sense that it’s today, and today is wonderful…awesome…perfect.

Have you ever met a person who is always upbeat and optimistic? For this type of person, an appropriate response to the question “How are you?” is inevitably, “Couldn’t be better” or “fantastic” or “excellent.” Not a whiny answer like “I guess I’m ok” or “I’m so tired.”

What good does the whining do anyway?

It does nothing except use up your present moments, moments that you won’t ever get back.

It dampens your mood and the spirits of everyone around you.

Instead, look for reasons to appreciate today.

This day is completely unique, an individual gift. There will never be a day quite like today. You will never be the age you are again. You will never experience this particular set of circumstances again.

If you’re in the middle of difficult challenges, you may be thinking that you are very glad you will never experience these circumstances again – but wait…aren’t there things and people that bring goodness to your life?

Appreciate them.

Appreciate today.

Each day brings with it fresh challenges, as well as fresh reasons to be joyful.

Look around you at everything that is beautiful, everything that you have to be happy about, everything that you don’t want to lose.

And be glad that it’s today – the best day ever.

 

 

Joy and Lessons Within Loss

Posted by Val on January 6, 2014 No comment

Smile“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

                                                                                    ~ Dr. Seuss

Life is full of losses, and losses can be painful. Most of us have experienced the loss of someone or something that was important to us at some point in our lives. Some losses are more crippling than others, such as devastation from a tornado or hurricane or the loss of someone very close to us, or maybe the loss of our own health.

But inside every loss is the memory of a happier time, and the memory of those times is a gift, in spite of the loss. And inside every loss is the closing of one door so another can open.

The memory of whatever moments of joy we have experienced should be savored and cherished. Losing someone or something doesn’t need to tarnish the memories.

Just because something is temporary doesn’t make it bad.

Losses are painful but we are still alive – so we must look for the lesson in the loss.

As we go through our lives, some losses are inevitable, such as the loss of our childhood. When we choose a career path, we may be closing the door to other career choices.

Many of us experience the loss of our parents or grandparents, or maybe a cherished pet. We watch our children grow up and move out. We may lose possessions such as a totaled car, or we may experience loss from a fire or storm.

In the end, all of life is temporary, and that makes it so important to learn to embrace today.

We can smile in the midst of loss. We can remember the good times and trust there will be other good times.

As Sufi Epigram said, “When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.”

photo by: Moyan_Brenn

Inspiring Thoughts from Christopher Reeve

Posted by Val on January 5, 2014 No comment

Ronald Reagan Christopher Reeve“You play the hand you’re dealt. I think it’s worthwhile.”
                                                                                 ~ Christopher Reeve
Christopher Reeve was a true hero – a bigger hero than Superman. Unhappiness so often results from struggling against the hand we have been dealt. What if all of us instead choose to live as Christopher Reeve did, and we simply play the hand we’re dealt without whining about it?

What a concept.

At the age of 42, Reeve was paralyzed from the neck down in a horse-riding accident. He didn’t wallow in self-pity though. Instead he continued to be active in public speaking, working to raise awareness and funds for spinal cord injuries and for disabled people. His own organization, The Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation is dedicated to finding treatment options and cures for spinal cord injuries and other neurological disorders. It also uses grants to help improve the quality of life of disabled people

There is a cliché that states that if life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and Christopher Reeve definitely lived by that philosophy. He said,

“I am a very lucky guy. I can testify before Congress. I can raise funds. I can raise awareness.”

How many of us, if we were suddenly horribly disabled, would see ourselves as lucky? Would we be able to take the hand we’re dealt and continue to play this hand with grace and dignity? Would we continue to have faith in our own ability to lead a life full of purpose and meaning?

What kept Christopher Reeve going was hope, and an inherent optimistic outlook.

He said,

“Once we choose hope, everything is possible.”

No matter what our circumstances are, we can choose to be hopeful. We can choose to believe that we still have a purpose. We can believe in possibilities.

In the end, leading a successful life is about living a life motivated by giving, not getting. He said,

“Success is finding satisfaction in giving a little more than you take.”

A Few of My Favorite Things

Posted by Val on January 4, 2014 2 comments
5 days
DomiKetu / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things”   ~ lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II

 

These lyrics from The Sound of Music pretty much always bring a smile to my face. Although I have to say that the things referenced in the song are a bit odd (to me at least), the idea of making lists of things we like definitely seems to be a good way to focus on life’s positive things….in other words, it’s a great way of learning happiness.

Here are a few of my favorite things:

I spent many years living in a small city in Massachusetts that bordered the ocean. Walking along the beach, inhaling the soothing scent of saltwater and listening to the waves and the seagulls is one of the most spiritual and soothing things I can think of.

I love the sound of my children’s and grandchildren’s giggles and laughter.

I find the burst of red color of a cardinal to be breathtaking.

And here is a list of several more:

  1. The smell of coffee perking in the morning
  2. Cheesecake
  3. Christmas lights
  4. The ability to read; getting lost in books
  5. The sound of a tennis ball being hit back and forth across the net
  6. Weeping willows
  7. Large birds of prey
  8. The color green
  9. Classic rock music
  10. A rare moment of peace and quiet

 

I have to conclude this conversation on my favorite things by saying that reading quotes and other wisdom shared by others is one of my very favorite things.

What are a few of your favorite things?

Grateful For the People In My Life

Posted by Val on January 3, 2014 No comment

 

Pinkeens
National Library of Ireland on The Commons / Foter.com

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

                                                                        ~ Marcel Proust

 

Nothing brings a smile to my heart as much as the sound of laughter from my children and grandchildren. When a child draws you a picture or gives you a bear hug, it’s one of life’s greatest gifts.

I was fortunate to experience true love once in my life. In the early days when I first started to date my late husband, the deepening of his dimples or the sound of his voice made me catch my breath every time. Fifteen years later, as his health failed and life removed his smile, he was still the one that I wanted to be near.

Then there are certain friends who are pretty much always upbeat. When life gets me down, I can almost always count on them to say just the right thing, or to say nothing at all when that is what I need.

I am truly grateful to have my family and friends in my life.

Strangers sometimes bring happiness too. When I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed a warm smile from a cashier or a waitress is like a breath of fresh air. So is a stranger that lets me pass in traffic rather than trying to cut me off.

Those who use their talents for good bring happiness to others. For example, songwriters that come up with lyrics that touch the heart, or melodies that somehow express emotions can help to bring joy to life. Novelists string together words that help us escape from reality at times and enjoy the journey of life.

When a movie touches my heart, I realize that dozens of people were involved in that effort – writers, actors, directors, producers, wardrobe people, and many others who are unnamed but make a difference all the same.

I am grateful for all the people in my life, people whose lives touch mine and help me to experience a little happiness any given day.

Other people really do help my soul to blossom.

Make Up Your Mind to be Happy

Posted by Val on January 2, 2014 2 comments

 

À flor mais linda...
Eduardo Amorim / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

 One of life’s most important lessons is this:

We only have control over one thing and that is our own attitude.

That may sound like a small thing but it’s really a very big thing.

We can’t control what other people say or do. We can’t control how many red lights we get when we’re in a hurry, whether or not people are rude to us or whether we get what we want.

Does that mean we can’t be happy?

According to Lincoln, happiness is a choice.

Think about it. The happiest people aren’t always the people who are living the best lives.

They’re just the people with the best attitudes.

By the same token, the unhappiest people aren’t necessarily the people who have been dealt the worst hands. We’ve all probably met someone who moaned throughout their lives even though they are healthy, in a loving relationship and financially comfortable. Yet somehow, with everything going for them, they still manage to be unhappy.

In spite of all the things we can’t control, all the people we can’t control, we can choose on a daily basis how we are going to react to every single thing that happens to us.

We have to make a conscious decision to choose happiness each and every day. No matter what.

Even if we have health concerns.

Even if we have money problems.

Even if we are in the midst of major problems.

We can choose to stop and smell the roses. We can choose to notice the things- big and little – that went right in this day. We can choose to find something to be happy about.

You can be happy today. You just have to decide you’re going to.

The Birth of Learning Happiness

Posted by Val on January 1, 2014 No comment
Happy Fruit Grass
libraryman / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

I am on a journey to learn about happiness. I have decided that life is too short to spend it being unhappy or discontented.

It seems like there are basically two kinds of people – those who are naturally happy, and those who are naturally unhappy. Some would call them optimists versus pessimists.

But strangely enough, the people who lead the most difficult lives aren’t always the people who are perpetually unhappy. Likewise people who lead relatively simple lives – lives free of extreme stress and tragedy – aren’t always happy.

Why is it that some people struggle to be content even though they appear to have everything going for them? Is that because we as human beings always want something that is just out of reach? If so, it seems that we are doomed to a lifetime of discontent.

Other people like me struggle to be happy after suffering many losses in a short amount of time. Life is difficult, after all.

Some would say I have a right to be sad – losses are painful and sometimes require grieving.

But being full of sadness and self-pity doesn’t do me or my family any good.

Others with even more difficult circumstances than I have experienced still manage to be happy.

I know people who have led lives full of disadvantages and tragedy, yet they have still managed to be happy more often than not – people like Helen Keller and Christopher Reeve and Stephen Hawking.

What is it that allows these people and others like them to be happy in spite of loss or disability?

When a loved one said to me recently that she couldn’t remember ever being happy in her life, I realized that I had much to learn.

And it’s time to do something about it.

I need to learn about happiness.

I am not an expert.

I am a seeker. And this is my journey.